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Eigenwaarde

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Of the 10 messages we received in our youth were 9 negative and that has an effect on our self-esteem. There are two extreme reactions: inferiority or superiority / arrogance, and they're both pathologically it should be done. Schiller gods:"Your self-esteem which you decide" but many of us have sooner rather than self 'different value'

A good example of "another value" is the story of Inayat Khan in his younger years. A monk said 'murshid' against him and his master means 'self' alley, his ego swelled and when he heard the monk against a bum say murshid and as fast as it had risen thus decreased self-esteem again it was another value.

A friend of mine said very proud that his psychiatrist had said that he was not crazy and that is yet another value. The psychologist,doctor, teacher said that you are good and you'll feel as good but it does not come from inside it has no intrinsic value.

De Sjamaan Tolteek in Don Miguel Ruiz zei:"Barrel nothing personally ' . Stay in a spiritual self-esteem, where you do not but are no less than another, which you feel connected to the whole, the cosmos, met God. Jezus zei:"I and the Father are one" and felt the connection that has to do with self-esteem.

What you say to yourself your self talk 'is very important for your self-esteem. If you feel like you're okay jezelfr, are happy and grateful for everything you're at peace with yourself, in harmony and you will also respect others. I once read that if you respect yourself eliminating the need to change others.

The paradox is that if you find yourself completely accept the biggest changes and transformations occurring there are no blockages and uitverdedigingsmechanismen more. And if you change, you change the world around you it's a miracle that I myself have experienced firsthand!.

Your subconscious is 10x stronger than your conscious. So if you consciously decide to appreciate yourself and choose a healthy self-esteem but your subconscious is programmed differently the festival is canceled. There will be what does the subconscious.

You then sabotaging your own objectives and undermines those without realizing it. You are not 'Clear' as Joe Vitale calls.

We program the subconscious daily by the contacts we put, The images we see on the streets and on TV, the sounds we hear and that can be positive or negative without our being aware of it. Mental hygiene is very important.

There is an old Cherokee story. An Indian demands to the chief: "In me, I have a good wolf and a wolf of evil, welke wolf zal er winnen?"The chief answer:"The wolf that you feed!’.

Low self-esteem is an insult to God, the creator. You say implicitly that God made a mistake in your case.

Emerson said that we are most in need of someone who makes us do what we can. Find a personal coach if it does not sit so well with your self-esteem and it is not someone who is going to tell you what you should think, do and feel because you are dependent and you feel less worthy because you have to be told everything. It will have to be someone who wants to work on an equal basis and as a midwife has the answers out of you and loves you.

If someone gives unsolicited advice he or she puts not only arrogant above you but says also an implication that you are not so good for you that you desperately need his advice.

Learning telling yourself: "I love myself even though I feel not good '. Love is the greatest healing power. Jesus knew all and said that we can do the same as he and even more!.

Research also your beliefs. Een uitspraak is: "Those who say they can and those who say they have both right!"If you think it is impossible to transform blocking you thus your development and will indeed fail.

Many of us fighting with himself, with their sub-personalities and are not very. They fight against the dark and thus give the attention and all you give attention that grows and then there is more misery. You may light to do your awareness and see what. Without you, God, Creation is not complete!

And remember that everyone is always right. If someone says you no good, he or she is watching especially on what is wrong with you and there is always a stick with which to beat because we are simply not perfect now. Such a person is your teacher to come to esteem.

When self-esteem is also the locus of control 'key. If you have you lay blame an external locus of control and responsibility for others, at the government, the world, God, etc. You are then a victim of your circumstances and that is detrimental to your self-esteem.

In control internal locus you previously master of yourself and you have an influence on your circumstances. Investigated is that people with an internal locus of control are more confident, know more success and happiness in their lives.

Somewhere very well and is also a good recipe for a good self-esteem and if you look closely at yourself you will always find something you're good at and that can bring you further develop.

On my toilet hanging my judgment: "The less people know, the more they think they know ', and then you will no longer be open to new information, you do not go to investigate, you show no interest, you are more dead than alive and adheres more to your right you happiness. Moreover, the people you molest your unsolicited advice because you know the fact that 'good'. That's verstroppertje playing for yourself and alienating itself works and if you come to arrogance and never to a healthy spiritual self.

Serenity is a keyword, do not get impressed by praise or blame, but remain firm but flexible. not seek recognition from outside. Lao Tse said 500 BC very nice, he said:"I do not need respect because I respect myself 'and this is a healthy attitude.

During this time, many people are very busy and running from one to another, about it said Lao Tse:Plan to live your whole days full and there is no chance ', still seems quite topical me.

If your self-esteem can be affected by others would you hand over the power over yourself and let you easily manipulate and cows honor and dominate. An aphorism that I encountered it says quite nice:"Some games not even in their own lives the lead!"You're the most important person in your life and that is not self-centered but simply a fact.

If you forget to think of yourself do you no good to yourself and then follow a low self-esteem from continuing. Service is very good as long as it does not compromise yourself but stems from an overflow of your being, from the abundance that you have much to give.

Feelings of guilt are deadly for a good self-esteem. nobody blame yourself not too. Your intentions were good. My experience is that in 99% of cases the intentions of the people are good and I am always confirmed.

If another is mad at you is not your fault, you triggered the anger that was already in the other, and now comes out. The other is responsible for themselves and you can take your own responsibility and co-creator be.

By Wayne Dyer they have previously said that he could not write and speak publicly certainly would not be reserved for him. He retired from nothing in there, and became a well-known speaker and bestselling author.

There are always some people some criticism affect you and you have to 'improve' as needed. Does not allow!. Say it firmly: ‘nee, thank you against "because it undermines your self-esteem when you send out by another.

your intuition, your inner voice(zie m’n artikel daarover) is the source where you can listen in silence and always has the right answers. A true teacher will point to that,, so you will find their own answers and therefore you build your self-esteem precisely. Through meditation you come in contact with your inner voice. Visualizations can also work well.

Tracking your negative thinking and discover that the lies that you tell yourself and then reverse polarity to positive thoughts about yourself and you come to a healthy self-esteem. The same is true for negative feelings. Let feelings are just there or attach a label on it are simply energies. I allow myself quite a time to be angry or sad and not call it negative.

If you like Maslow called it a "deficiency-motivated" person are you always deficit and you look for deficits, how much you're there you do not look at. Then you plenty in the ego is insatiable and we must say e–go!, he can go and then there is naturally an end to the greed which so afflicts us.

If we have a healthy self-esteem then we will not but we give and share and we zijnwe also ready to receive. I hope you received my message that you may find worth something yourself and that transmits and share it with others

 

 

 

Tonglen

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Old Richard has aged, but not that much wiser, he thinks he lives in the 4th dimension and is now on his way to the 5th dimension. He looks down on me like a simple soul from the 3rd dimension. He gave me some unsolicited advice and that was it:"Breathe out the bad and inhale the good". I then said,:Thank you for your advice, but i do the exact opposite, I breathe in the bad and transform that and breathe in the good, love again". “But that is mastery,” he exclaimed in horror, because he thought I was incapable of that.

Tonglen is what the bodhisattvas do too, the bodhisattavas are realized beings who postpone buddhahood in order to better help others first.

What Richard suggested was give the shit and want to get the love, it is may I catch it and an abhorrence of pain with a tendency not to process it, no pain no gain. Love is in you and you give and share and then you automatically receive.

I read a wonderful story by Nancy Groom, she writes: “I remember the amazement I felt when my counselor cried when I told her a story of abuse. I hadn't felt the depth of my grief on my own until my counselor mirrored it to me through her tears and then I was able to let my pain come in at a much deeper level.". Which counselor has so much love to give that he or she can cry for the client's pain?, I have not encountered them, they were all cold and aloof and called that behavior a professional attitude and so were very pleased with themselves and felt superior, there was no love in it.

Allowing the pain of the other to enter and giving love in return, that's tonglen and that reminds me of my father. I told him things weren't going so well with me and my marriage and then he got tears in his eyes and felt my pain, which I only then became more aware of, I felt his love for me and his sympathy and pity and that did me good. It also opened my eyes to the fact that I had hidden and repressed that bad feeling from myself. When I hear Kate Bush's song 'The man with the child in his eyes' I think of my father with love.

The western world is in his thinking and that bothered me too. Letting the pain come in and realizing that you can give even more love and it will get more the more you give and share. Giving and receiving are one.

We cannot have love and compassion for another if we do not have it for ourselves first, that is a condition for being able to do tonglen, start small with the pain of a friend or acquaintance and let it come in and give back love and then build it up and up until you get to your town or city. Tonglen means "take and give" in Tibetan. By accepting and feeling the suffering of others, we learn to do the same for ourselves.

As you progress with tonglen along the way, you can imagine taking in all the misery of the world you know, all darkness, negativity you let your heart absorb, you breathe it in. When you exhale, joy comes, compassion and love and you give that back to the world. The moment you take in the suffering of the world, you will find that it is no longer suffering. Pain is there, but suffering is a choice.

My friend Peter de Kock drew my attention to the story of a donkey that fell into an old well. The farmer thought "It's an old donkey and not much use anymore and the well needs to be filled in anyway so let it sit there" With his neighbours, the farmer started throwing dirt into the well to fill up the well. At first the donkey was startled by this, but then brayed gently and lovingly. The farmer looked into the well and was amazed to see that the donkey shook off the dirt and stood on it, getting higher and higher, until he could get out of the well. Moral of this story is: Life also shovels dirt on you the trick is to get out of the pit and shake off the dirt and use it as stepping stones to get out of the pit and beyond.

Forgive

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When I Cornelie, a woman in 80 asked what her most important life lessons she replied:"Let go and forgive and that's life's work '. At that time there was a book release and a book about forgiveness on my table, talked about synchronicity, I thank Our Lord!

In a book by Wayne Dyer I read that if you have yet to work out something with your parents if they are deceased, you can go to their grave there e.e.a. to pronounce. I've done that and forgave them and relieved me tremendously, it was a liberation

I once read a gripping story about forgiveness. A son had quarreled with his father and they did not see each other more, many years. It gnawed at the son and decided to forgive his father and tried him to track and when he discovered that his father had been dead for a year. He went to Jerusalem to the Western Wall and stopped there a note for his father in the wall with the words that he had forgiven him. Then he slipped the note into the wall there was another note and he took it and read it. He immediately recognized the handwriting of his father!. His father asked him for forgiveness and said he was very fond of his son.

Forgiving one another to do for many still and very intelligent, you free yourself of a burden on your shoulders or something that lies heavy on your stomach. But forgiving yourself is quite another, a lot harder. Many of us have the sub-personality are you "The prosecutor" could call. He tells you that you are no good, not good enough, you're not okay, not as good as many others, etc. Only negative things you get down. It is important to identify dis-you to those sub-personality, to forgive him, thanks for his counsel to then send him into retirement.

I forgave my ex-wife and myself that I so long I let her dominate, I'll have it when needed. Now I do not want to be dominated and would not dominate yourself free, autonomous and authentic.

Forgiving does not mean that you approve of bad behavior. You can then assign the other but also show appreciation and repect for him as a person.

I have benefited greatly from 'The work "of Byron Katie allegations to another turns. For example, another allegation that he gives too little attention, turn it around and you say that you will give yourself enough attention and that you and the other must forgive yourself for it and that you will now give yourself attention and learn from it.

Guy Finley writes that it is impossible to receive forgiveness if you have not learned to forgive yourself first. It usually starts with you. The environment is the mirror of yourself.

I believe that Hans Teeuwen was forgiven something pulled from the Bible. It was:"Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors ". He said that quite pedantic is that we want to tell God that he should do so as we do! follow our example!

In forgive is giving and that can be: give to others, love others and give to others. Everything you've given is really yours(-)

I forgive an ex-boyfriend that he was a profiteer and freeloader, but I also let him because I noticed he made abuse of my confidence and did not realize that. I did not want to perpetuate the abuse.

I once read a story about a king who wanted to be addressed as the "noble and enlightened" Everyone did except a man and was put in prison to change his mind. After one year imprisonment asked the king again to call him "noble and enlightened and the man still refused when he again went to jail. The king was nevertheless admired the fortitude of the man and released him after two years and followed the man to his house. The man's wife was very angry with the king because he had put her imprisoned husband, but the man had forgiven the king and said the Queens had done much good i.a.. Hospitals had built and had built roads. When the king heard this, he jumped out and offered his apologies and said he appreciated the fact that the man had forgiven him. Then the man said:"It's all right o noble and enlightened '' You say that now," said the king, to which the man said:"Because you are able to offer your apology and appreciate forgiveness.

Kathleen Griffin wrote: "The forrmule to forgive 'with the subtitle: "How to let go and why that's good for you," she writes:"Think of people you know and who can forgive. Now think of people who have a grudge with them. In which camp would you prefer to stay?"She has said that Tolstoy:"One must be able to move itself in any position. Everything understand all forgive '. She also gets A course in miracles to: "Forgiveness is letting go of all hope for a better past '

Not forgive but makes changes the past for a better future and is very intelligent and it reflects love as you forgive.

Someone insulted the Buddha ever and continued to do very kind to this man and that has lasted a week and then asked the man how the Buddha still got each other and the Buddha said,:"If someone offers a gift and you take it not then that gift still that person as your insult" the negative not take and keep loving, like the Buddha and then you do nothing to forgive even.

Guy Finley wrote in his book: ‘Let go and live in the now’: "We can never hope to be free while fighting a lot of us suffer or what others are doing or have done or have failed in their life," Think of it as karma of others which he himself is responsible for body. You can not change the other person just yourself. You can inspire others, motiveren, enthuse and encourage.

I once met a woman who is very bitter, was soured and frustrated. They complained about everything and knew nothing of forgiveness. She fought a world that was in her mind against her. I poked through the outside back and told her that she had a very pure and sensitive heart where she had built walls around it for fear of being hurt again. She had never heard of anyone and thawed for a moment. Moments later, she fell back into her old position and began to call me Master and crawled into her victim. I arrived too early for her, maybe the penny over a number of years falls well. I forgive myself that I can not reach anyone. I did what I could to bring her to her heart and love.

Guy Finley also wrote that we are prisoners of everyone we want to punish. And the more we want to punish the other, the less freedom we have to be at peace with ourselves. We do not have to repay anything or put right because evil itself punishes. Someone who steals will think almost everyone is a thief and no vert marry and thus only with its negative thoughts. We reap what we sow. If we do evil will be even more harm on our way out as long until we learn and transform the evil thereof.

At a symposium showed a man photos of grandfathers. There were bitter, gefrustreede, grim faces at grandpa's who could not forgive and very friendly faces of grandfathers who have done haden. The speaker said that we decide how we will be self as grandfather.

The Dalai Lama is a master in forgiving. He called Mao, Chinese chairman who occupied his country, his greatest teacher. He learns from his enemies instead of hating them.

A temperamental millionaire who commented everywhere and sjachrijnig was served by a waiter who was very friendly and cordial Millionaire despite behavior. After a week it was the millionaire and he asked the waiter how he did it anyway. The waiter said,:"That's my nature, I am a loving, friendly and cordial man, and let me no one decrease "The millionaire was full of admiration and gave the waiter a tip 500 dollars and offered him a job as a manager in one of its hotels.

I read on the internet a few statements about forgiveness: "Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet indicates the heel that it trampled" and "ask forgiveness means that you need love '

"We forgive our friends easier defects that we observe in them than what they learn in our 'Since much is in, another indicate a deficiency usually provides only resistance and uitverdiging or a counterattack. On my toilet hanging ruling: "If you think other imperfection in the first look at your own imperfection '

Whoever accepts willing to forgive me also on the Internet and found: "Remember that you will never be blessed spiritually without forgiveness. The good can only flow to you if you express it in your '

"To err is human, to forgive divine ', "Really forgive means that you have done what the other disconnects the feelings it evokes in you ', "When you learn to forgive others if fault or guilty but you decide the experience was just how not to '

"Forgiveness is letting go of hope that it can or should otherwise different ' , "If the day was not your friend it's been your teacher ', 'Oft comes almost automatically as the anger and hurt is processed and released'

"Not forgiving means you decide to suffer '

 

 

 

 

Gevoelens & keuze

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Een Indiase goeroe beweerde ooit dat je niet voor liefde kunt kiezen, maar hij zei ook dat iedereen er een hekel aan heeft om op te staan. Hij slaapt dus liever dan dat ie leeft en dat zegt alles over deze charlatan. Ik kies bewust voor liefde in plaats van angst en dat gaat me prima af. Amerikanen zeggen:’Fake it till you make it!’ Eerst net doen alsof je liefdevol bent is al een goed begin en een goede keuze.

Robert F. Willard Ph.D. en Michael Gibertini Ph.D schreven in hun boek ‘The seven jewels of codependency’: ‘Je weet dat misschien niet, maar in zekere zin kies je je gevoelens. Je gevoelens zijn gebaseerd op wat je jezelf vertelt over een situatie, je begrip ervan en wat het voor je betekent. Als je je anders wilt voelen, moet je de manier waarop je over een situatie denkt veranderen. For example: Heb je ooit iemand horen praten over jou en gedacht dat ze kwaad op je waren om daarna te ontdekken dat het over een ander ging?. Ook al heb je je gekwetst gevoeld of boos, toen je je realiseerde dat het over een ander ging was er opluchting of zelfs een schuldgevoel over je kwaadheid’ Toen je gedachten over de situatie veranderden, veranderden ook je gevoelens. De realiteit van de gebeurtenis creëerde of veranderde je gevoelens niet, maar je interpretatie deed dat’

In de Rationeel-Emotieve-Therapie(RET) kennen ze de ABC-formule. A = het Activating event, de gebeurtenis, B = Belief, je geloof/overtuiging over iets en C = Consequences, de consequentie, de uitkomst. En dan stellen ze dat niet A bepaalt wat C is maar B. Het gaat altijd om je geloof/overtuiging of je je gekwetst gaat voelen of niet

Ik hoorde ooit een man tegen me zeggen dat ik precies op een minister van de VVD leek, dat gaf me geen aangenaam gevoel omdat ik niks met de VVD heb, maar ik koos ervoor om te vragen of het als een compliment was bedoeld en de man zei:’Jazeker ik waardeer die minister enorm!’ en dat voelde voor mij een stuk beter.

Ik kies ervoor om me meestal goed,peaceful,harmonieus en liefdevol te voelen, zelfs als het een keer tegenzit. Ik zie nl. alles al zijnde ten goede voor m’n groei en ontwikkeling en dan wijs je geen enkel gevoel af en kies je ervoor alles te voelen en ervaren.

‘Geluk is een keuze’ is de titel van een boek van Mariska van der Werf dat ze in eigen beheer bij boekenbent.com uitgaf. Ik geef Mariska groot gelijk: geluk is inderdaad een keuze en wordt dan niet veroorzaakt door iets van buiten maar is er gewoon zoals je bent. Marci Shimoff schreef het boek ‘Happy for no reason’ en dat is het, er is geen reden om gelukkig te zijn het is een staat van zijn waar je voor gekozen hebt.

Als je bedenkt dat je dagelijks kunt kiezen uit vele opties en er een kosten/baten-analyse op loslaat en je intuïtie erbij gebruikt zul je wellicht minder TV kijken en meer kiezen voor groei en ontplooiing van je eigen wezen en zelf leven i.p.v passief de levens op TV van anderen te volgen.

Veel mensen beseffen niet dat ze de keuze hebben uit vele opties en handelen uit gewoonte, routine en klagen dan dat hun leven zo gezapig is en grijs en saai….

Breng je opties in kaart en durf daarbij te fantaseren en je creativiteit te benutten. Goede keuzes leveren een goed en gelukkig leven op en zorgen voor goede, fijne gevoelens van liefde, vrede, harmonie, vreugde, humor, speelsheid, sereniteit, etc.etc. en dat gun ik u ook.