From conflict to caring

I have translated and noted some quotes from this special book by Jordan and Margaret Paul and put my comments in brackets

-Feeling unhappy is always a direct result of unloving behavior(As long as you're not loving, you are estranged from your true self and let you rule by fear)

-namely protective / defensive response: -try to check, -to admit, -being indifferent lowers self-esteem(then you come to a low self-esteem that is so characteristic of codependency)

-The real basis of fear, guilt and shame is a false/false belief(Which was taught to us by our codependent educators, my mother always said:‘What will people say about it’, I suffered a lot from that and a lot of fear,felt guilt and shame)

-People often don't appreciate the truth as a gift of love(The truth will set us free, but will make us furious first and Nietzsche said:’Hoeveel waarheid kan een mens verdragen, how much truth he ventures?!. Freud zei:"Man is better than he knows", but worse than he thinks))

-One of the most common fears in codependent relationships is the fear of being wrong, to be wrong(We want 'good'’ his and again it was Nietzsche who said:'Beware of the 'good guys'’ for it is the most poisonous flies that sting.")