once, disagree

My friend Peter Jan said:"If people agree with me, I think it's deadly," I said at the time:'I do not agree with you!’. He laughed and liked it. I told him the joke about the man and woman who were in relationship counseling. The therapist asked the man why they were there and the man said: "I'm here because my wife never agrees with me". The therapist asked what the woman thought and she said: 'I tend to disagree!’

I told Peter Jan that I sometimes like it when someone agrees with me and harmonizes then there is peace. If you choose to always disagree, you also choose the conflict model, the obstruction and that is a sublimation of your repressed anger that you do not want to acknowledge and therefore play it out in a passive-aggressive way. On the other hand, someone who agrees with everything does not dare to express his own opinion and continuously adapts in the hope of being liked..

If someone has to agree with you, you have little confidence in your point of view. The mere fact that you need support indicates that you are not sure.

So it is again and / and instead of either / or, to be able to agree and disagree instead of always agreeing or disagreeing.

I had(with an emphasis on) a helper who always thwarted and never agreed with me, when I said something was beautiful I came up with arguments why it was ugly, always in contramine, thus also repressed anger. I once put her to the test by pretending I was in front of something I was actually against, when I said I was for it she was immediately against and I had exactly where I wanted her and so she unintentionally agreed with me.

An atheist came to the Buddha and said:"Do you agree that God does not exist?’. The Buddha disagreed. Then a believer came and said:"Surely you agree that God exists". The Buddha also disagreed. A third came to the Buddha and said nothing and just looked and agreed with the Buddha who did not lend itself to be a point of reference for anyone.

When I read the many books on codependency, I completely agreed with most, I recognized my own codependency and determined that I was recovering and on my way. Many people disagree that they are codependent and are in denial and then say: "I'm not in denial"…