Schaduwwerk

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The players in the drama triangle supplant their downsides, thus having power over them. Anything you're not aware of you has power over you, there you will be the slave and victim without knowing it. Awareness can liberate you only.

Pia Mellody zei: ‘You have to hug your demons or they will bite you in the ass!’. Very nice. Tsultrim Allione also speaks well for your demons and you agree to reconcile, they wrote the book: "Free your demons'.

Jung zei: "We are not illuminated by proposing our light figures but we are aware of our dark side '. Patrick Carnes also talks about shadow work. In the shade of the diamond and gold.

We often do not have the courage to face our demon and project it onto others or rather beyond us as an entity. Then we think we are rid of it, but the opposite is true.

Gurdjieff said that we need to reconcile God and the devil in us. Very nice is that. No more duality by identifying good and bad, but unit. Not either / or but both / and.

If you recognize that you are a victim is the first major step toward liberation. Come out of the denial. As long as an alcoholic denies he has his alcoholism stay in that position and even increase it. Recognition and seeing is a prerequisite for recovery and rescue.

Liz Greene says the paradox is that the nature of the container is a shadow of darkness, but also the beacon towards the light.

Our shadow can open bury potential for us, things we have repressed than we can raise awareness and then we have control over and we can use it for the benefit of ourselves.

Shadow Work ascertain what irritates and annoys in / on the other and then come to see that it is an aspect of yourself that you have not wanted to see. The Work van Byron Katie(See article) is useful.

If you are not aware of your own shadow and negative sides you become the victim of the negative aspects of the other person you will not see and which you do not have an internal warning, which is continuous in the drama triangle and then we give each other the blame.

Often we are our own worst enemy without knowing it. "He who does not recognize his own faults is his own worst enemy," a statement. Mary J. Blige sings in 'No more drama': ‘The enemy was me!"And found out that she had been her own enemy.

If you conquer your shadow, you see that nothing human is alien and you project your not. Depending on the circumstances, you could be a thief or murderer. Because you are aware of it, you are especially alert to be not and you can eea. control

We all know the story of the man which uitmoorde his family and then committed suicide, when one of the neighbors and family about the man questioned they said that it had always been such a quiet man who never hurt(-). Such a man represses his shadow and anger and becomes a volcano which suddenly burst may come and then it's too late…

Jung said that we should be thankful for our enemies, because their darkness and the shadow side able to escape to me of myself. The Bible also says not for nothing that you should love your enemy.

Enemies draw your attention to your weaknesses because there they drop you at which you can be aware of which side and what you can do

My friend Will says he's doing things he is afraid and that usually that bad and he builds more and more confidence in. Often we are afraid of our shadow side but even more afraid of the light within us.

Said a Chinese requirement: "It's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness". Fight against your shadow, against the darkness does not make sense and strengthens only, you must turn on the light it is obscure no more, and that light is the light of your consciousness,

Dispels the darkness never see the light , but the light dispels the darkness forever.

Embrace both light and dark, make no distinction, no duality, not an either / or thinking, accept is better. One day also includes a day and a night of light and dark and so it is good.

Adjust the voice dialogue technology and ask your dark sides what they want from you, what they think they do for you, how to protect your mind and then say that you yourself from they will accept with gratitude for their effort.

The darkness is only the absence of light, so be there and the light will shine. Wayne Dyer zei: 'Do not Die with your music still in you'. From you, refrain from expression of which leads to depression and that is the darkness at the top.

In the darkness everything is black / white and if you think that denotes the darkness. Frank Sinatra sings very nicely: "Do not think black, do not think white, but with all the color of your heart ".

I found some interesting quotes about the shadows and demons that I'll follow here:

‘If you don’t have any shadow you’re not in the light – Lady Gaga

"Character is a tree and reputation is its shadow, we think we are the shadow where the tree is the real - Abraham Lincoln

‘You can only come in the morning through the shadow’ – J.R.R. Tolkien

"Thoughts are the shadows of my feelings, always darker, army and simpler - Nietzsche

"I do not need a friend who changes when I change, who nods when I nod, my shadow does that much better "- Plutarch

"Most of the shadows caused in life because we are our sunshine in the way - Emerson

"The eyes are always caught by the light, but shadows have more to say "- Gregory Maguire

‘If I got rid of my demons, I’d lose my angels’ – Tennessee Williams

‘In the very depths of Hell do not demons love one another? – Anne Rice

‘Nothing captures human intent more than human tragedy – Dan Brown

‘Writers are the exorcist of there own demons’ – Mario Vargas Liosa

"I had to go through hell to get to know the sky, often we learn things by their opposites "- Henny Bos

Darkness can not stop the light of a small candle

I wish I, When you are lonely and in darkness, You astonishing light of your own being could show.

Knowing your own darkness is the best method to deal with the darkness of others - Jung

Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to others - Mark Twain

Alone in the dark, you see the stars - Martin Luther King Jr..

De winnaarsdriehoek

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The winner is the triangle victim standing in his power and he dares to show his vulnerable side and he takes responsibility for his life and happiness

The savior has been loving and caring and treats the other as an equal rather than his or her schooling and to go beyond. He is now nurturing and warm

The prosecutor is the assertive that dares to say honestly what he thinks and feels without hurting others. He is blaming the "I-message" instead of the other and blaming

Brought in schedule is as follows from that:

Starting point is: 'I am okay, you're ok ', a win / win situation

We zijn slachtoffers van slachtoffers van slachtoffers..

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In de dramadriehoek zijn alle spelers ook slachtoffer er zijn geen winnaars in de dramadriehoek, die ook wel slachtofferdriehoek wordt genoemd.

Diane Zimberoff schrijft in haar boek ‘Breaking free from the victim trap’ over de slachtoffers, ik heb het vertaald: ‘De belangrijkste hint die we ons moeten realiseren is dat onder de stoerheid van de aanklager een slachtoffer zit en onder de ‘we hebben het voor elkaar’-opstelling van de redder, die daardoor kracht veinst zit, ook een slachtoffer.

Deze acties zijn pogingen om een gevoel van kracht te krijgen uit de zwakheid van de ander. Dit is de essentie om het syndroom te kunnen begrijpen. Elke persoon is symbiotisch gebonden en voedt zich met de zwakheid van anderen.

In de dramadriehoek voel je je pas sterk als je ziet dat de ander zwak of zwakker is. Dat gedrag is ons aangeleerd door onze opvoeders die op hun beurt weer slachtoffer werden van hun opvoeders en zo wordt het steeds overgedragen.

Wij mogen de negatieve spiraal doorbreken door uit de dramadriehoek te stappen en vrij te worden. Zie het artikel : ‘Hoe stap je uit de dramadriehoek’ voor aanbevelingen en tips.

We leren ons slachtoffergedrag in het disfunctionele gezin, waar geen of te weinig liefde, erkenning, waardering, warmte en koestering voor je was. Daar reageerde je op en werd een aanklager, redder of slachtoffer. Je voelt je niet oké, niet goed genoeg en overcompenseert dat vaak naar het tegendeel, namelijk dat jij oké bent en de rest niet, we projecteren dan onze eigen negatieve gevoelens op de ander en geven anderen de schuld van onze ellende,

In de psychologie hebben ze het over ‘learned helplessnes; ofwel aangeleerde hulpeloosheid van het slachtoffer dat je was en niet wilde zijn.

Een vriend had tijdens zijn opvoeding veel te maken met de pijn van slecht behandeld te worden en zei me dat hij had geleerd van de pijn te gaan houden om het te overleven, dat noemen ze secundaire winst uit het disfunctionele gezin. Hij zei me: ‘Mijn leven is een groot drama en wat geniet ik daar toch van’, hij lacht als er pijn is en nare dingen gebeuren, hij lacht het weg weet zich geen houding te geven en is nu wat masochistisch.

Omdat onze ouders of opvoeders ons nooit onvoorwaardelijk liefhebben en accepteren hebben we delen van onszelf verdrongen, namelijk die delen die niet geaccepteerd werden en zo vervreemden we van onszelf en werden niet heel. Slechts de delen die wel geaccepteerd werden werden ontwikkeld.

Bij velen is het innerlijke kind volkomen verdrongen en naar een koude kelder verdreven. Ik mis bij die mensen de speelsheid, humor, creativiteit en lerend vermogen die zo eigen zijn aan het kind

Door hun opvoeding werden we de ouder(aanklager of redder) of een hulpeloos kind(slachtoffer) of een gekwetst kind(aanklager) of een hulpvaardig kind(redder) en geven dat weer aan onze kinderen door, door ze niet onvoorwaardelijk lief te hebben en volledig te accepteren en fouten in ze te zoeken en ze daarop te wijzen in plaats van hun verdiensten te prijzen.

Gratis brochure

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The codependency network now has 79 membership, The 80th member, I will send you a free brochure, namely the brochure: Een introductie in codependentie

You can find the link to the codependency network right here

Niveaus van heling

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Om uit je slachtofferschap te komen zijn er niveaus van heling die Lori Rekowski beschrijft in haar boek: ‘A victim no more – how to stop being taken advantage of’. We mogen bedenken dat de aanklager en redder in feite ook slachtoffers zijn, mensen die zich door angst laten leiden(lijden).

says Lori:

ideas + Emotions = bad decision

ideas + Emotions + logic = healthy decision

 

Here's her schedule that I translated:

-1- awareness, You identify with the victim's behavior

 

-2- Principals to change old patterns and begin putting into practice of healing methods

 

-3- step by step begin to see the benefits of using the methods.

 

-4- you're on the 'processes' and integrate new insights and let go of old patterns

 

-5- The will is stronger to create more balance in your life

 

-6- increased awareness of your ability to live the life you want to manifest.

 

-7- your self-esteem grows significantly

 

-8- you stop creating drama and pulls mentors in your life.

 

-9- confidence to 'act' life and to be able to

 

-10- experiences more fun, geluk, clarity and peace in your daily life.

 

In the final stage, there is a transition. As a victim you know very little and think it know to have and at the final stage you know you do not know and therefore can investigate. Socrates said that: "Now I know that I know nothing 'and Einstein said: "The more I know the more I discover that I do not know '. You work than grace, and see everything as a loving gift or something to learn, nothing is without value and meaning for you.

On my toilet hanging my judgment: "The less people know, The more they think they know 'and that's the trap and step up to mischief in the drama triangle, which we are not aware of

So it is to unlearn all the negative and destructive patterns. Inayat Khan, the great Sufi master had also talked about unlearning and that is more difficult than learning. It is difficult to disidentify us of our old behaviors because we are so accustomed to the familiar. It is a question of fear motivation to go for love motivation.