How to become an expert?

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How do you become an expert, I learned from Wayne Dyer. He was a university professor and rector wanted subsidy for starting up a new faculty. He asked his professors who had grants wit. Wayne raised his hand, although he knew nothing from. He was instructed to apply for the grant.

Wayne went to the university library and read everything that had to do with subsidies, he came across names of experts and was thus talk, he built so much knowledge and thus armed, he asked the subsidy and got him. From then Wayne was the subsidy expert!!

In the picture you see what you can do to become an expert, In my view, useful tips.

become an expert

I also made myself an expert in the field of awareness and codependency / interdependence. I read over 100 English books on codependency and how you come to interdependence, and the conversation went on with experts and built as much knowledge, also following my own life experience as a codependent…I founded the codependentie-netwerk.ning.com and which now has nearly 200 membership, many of which I have been very grateful for the information. In terms of awareness, I read hundreds of books and organized conversation / discussion groups in that area, and gave lectures on awareness and codependency. I also wrote 11 boeken, op 1 after all about awareness and codependency. The book "Other Value, on codependentie and the book "The Drama Triangle do well. Furthermore, I blog a lot on my site: www.hennybos.com

Expert are therefore doing well, but remain expert requires much more effort, it has been tracking the latest developments and also make a contribution to new developments. It requires an open mind and a good learning ability and creative and innovative spirit. You have to love what you do and do what you love, otherwise it does not work. Bales developed a pyramid in which we can see how we learn, pyramid which I show here:

learning pyramid-of-bales

"I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand "- Confucius

You need not be a victim,nl!

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Onderzocht is dat de meeste mensen 95% van hun tijd aan drama besteden en 5% in essence, drama drama queens and kings and so we are unconscious victims of the rubbish we get in and who thus opens again.

Inspired by an article in English by Melody Beattie, I suppose you are a victim or victim feel very often an illusion and not your reality, it is a lie that you tell yourself, it's stupidity where Einstein also talks about

einstein

Your self-image may consist of a feeling of not being able to life, do not have in hand and thus to be the victim of. Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness our subconscious programming, that causes your mind to victimization become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your thoughts are clear and creative forces materialize

It can be such a habit to feel your victim even if you good things happen to you negative reaction, bijvoorbeeld:

-A new car and you say that he was too expensive and requires a lot of maintenance and consume a lot of gasoline

-You can and should do some shopping and you say that you are the spool that you should do that instead of a lucky and blessed

-A woman had a beautiful, spacious house and complained that it was a lot of work to keep it tidy and clean

-Attention seen as an intrusion in your privacy rather than as a form of love

-Building shelters in high winds, see the tile;

tile wind

We can all possibilities continue to see the difficulties and stuck in a negative energy

You then need Popeye moment, which is when Popeye has plenty of misery and spinach to its responsibilities and takes action. Whether it has to be worse, then we must first touch the ground to bring about change

more pain

We must learn to fix our borders and to monitor, learning to say no to and dare to be angry to reinforce our words

We must learn to be more assertive, the aspects which are all already in our, only hidden from us, often we need a therapist or coach to get it up and make us aware of our true selves, change will be necessary, Darwin also says that:

darwin

Claim responsibility for your life and happiness, Claim your power, Speak your needs and fulfill them, know what you want and do not want, no longer accept the unacceptable, let yourself be dominated by one, because that is not love, but an act of violence against you

Do not say you can not do it, because that you program yourself again. Ford zei: "Those who say they can not and they may be saying both equal!’

To feel a victim, many people will overcompensate and may be a 'noble' helper (which depends for its well-being of victims) or a prosecutor who lets define his thoughts and feelings by one who accuses him of what he denounces

Thus, both the prosecutor and the hellper also displace victim for selected. (see my book The Drama Triangle, in which the roles are described in detail).

Get away from the drama triangle and find the love triangle and develop your mastery. The true master is masterful student. I coach you like to mastery and art of living

To step you must be willing to change the victim, Shakespeare gods: "The readiness is all '

Buddha change

We are often afraid of change, the unknown, which alone could make it known to us anxious. The resistance is indeed the most painful and miserable because you thereby maintains the neurosis and rigid, star is then more dead than you are alive, a zombie, living dead

Where can a victim of its:

-narcisten

-cheaters and liars

-scammers

-indoctrination

-conditioning from your childhood

-dictatorial behavior

-backstabbers

-neuroten

-stress

-obsessive-compulsive behavior

-stuck in your head, niet voelen (You have to feel to heal!)

-victims

-neurotic helpers, help-a-holics

-prosecutors

-fundamentalists, fanatics

-bureaucrats

-etc.

summarizing: How do we free ourselves from the victim:

-by becoming aware that we are spiritual beings having a human experience rather than those with a spiritual experience

-that we are created in the image of God and therefore are gods

-by taking responsibility for your life and well-being and happiness

-by being assertive and set limits and monitor

-by giving less attention to drama and more essentials

-letting go of old patterns to make room for healthy new gedachyten and feelings

complaints

Bron: Boek Verrijkende Inzichten – Henny Bos, verschijnt juni 2016 bij Uitgeverij Boekenbent (voorintekenprijs is 20 euro in plaats van 25 euro, dus 20% korting!)

The inner child and anger

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angry child

Many children from their parents should not be furious, which was rejected, then they were no longer loves us. she even said; "You're naughty" rather than "You're naughty", So they played on the man and that we attract to us very much because we are still fully dependent on our parents

We're angry because we do not focus, erkenning, waardering, love and respect given that we had such a need. We're going to sublimate anger and exhibit passive-aggressive behavior by lying transverse, watching, make sarcastic remarks, humor have at the expense of the other, leedvermaak, To play devil's advocate, offend, denying attention, things to 'forget', the other 'gagging'(the silent treatment), you obnoxious act, you annoy quickly, deliver much criticism, often unnecessarily being late, etc.etc.

We project our repressed anger often on the other, we can then blame. Like we ensure that our other repressed anger plays out for us by making him or her hurt by our behavior and there to have fun and then the other to blame, self-reflection is alien to us, that's scary.

Thich Nhat Hanh schreef het boek 'je Omarm woede', that's good advice. Recognize that your anger is there and see it as a messenger that you bring a valuable message has, namely that you did not get your parents and is now trying to get out of vain. You can book your anger get you where you need also can give to yourself and be loving to yourself, Be a loving mother and father for yourself, who love you unconditionally for who you are and(Nietzsche zei: "Become who you are '). See also my article Become who you are.

Anger is often seen as a negative emotion, and negative emotions are rejected. Osho says that if you do not want to recognize the negative emotions you recognize any emotion. You will be a thinker, a robot…A negative emotion is simply a messenger that you are going to tell you what to change.

Behind anger can sit an unmet need or exceeded your limits by another and so you come to better understand your needs and boundaries

Mencius said he would pay more attention in the next life to its needs rather than desires, a sensible advice

If you never dare to be furious, chances are that you let walk all over you, 're a doormat and too much up and displaces, you will be sad rather than angry and if you really anger inside let you become depressed. It's not supposed to hurt others with your anger, but you may have to send a clear signal. Osho said that grief anger is turned upside, He said that if you make a mad person sad anger is gone and conversely it is reciprocal inhibition

A woman who dared to be said, not angry: "I'd rather not," and did not understand that it is too weak, so that the other person is nothing attracts and rolled over her and dominates. Since the woman may learn that they must bring their own dominance developed in order to live well. Your environment is in fact the mirror of yourself. And dominance was mirrored in this case had repressed women and should bring development

Elimineer negatieve indrukken die je innerlijke kind met zich meedraagt

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There are sufficient resources to focus on what you want in your life, but have you also wondered what precisely should let go?

The truth is that we have almost all energetic blockages that we took from our childhood and blocking our event needs,

and then the Law of Attraction is not working for us. We are not congruent, not clear as Americans say.

Many are displaced from those negative impressions of our inner child and so unconsciously, they can be triggered by insults and hurts or just comments, we do not respond as an adult but as our inner child that has ever been hurt.

What is unconscious is 10x stronger than our conscious, so if we consciously say I want this and the unconscious does that happen what the unconscious wants and we have therefore no idea why things fail us.

We also take negative impressions of our ancestors in us internalize it, of the 10 messages we got from our parents were there 9 negative and that says a lot about their state of being and way of perceiving and educate, Here is a diagram of Transactional Analysis:

child ta impressions parents

Here are some of those impressions that originate in the inner child, cross but an on what you apply:

-1- I can not really be who I am, always do what, help, etc, to be able to be there and find myself well, I'm more of a human than doing a humanbeing

-2- I dare to take risks for fear of the unknown

-3- I'm holding on to the old familiar, even if that is not so good for me

-4 I'm afraid of change and suggest that any change is still no improvement, and remember that any improvement or a change

-5- I get my New Year's wish not after and not have other plans, I do not do what I say

-6- I write down my goals in black and white and get them so often

-7- I'm looking really for confirmation in the form of compliments, diploma’s, recognition and respect

-8- When I get up in the morning I'm already tired or am I going to come on the day

-9- I close new friendships and do not talk to strangers quickly

-10- My friends can not always count on me, I often excuses why I can not help

-11- I evasions and excuses rather than reasons

-12- I worry a lot, worry a lot even though I know that's not good for me

-13- I have a lot of stress

-14- I especially focus on drama rather than substance

-15- My life is not very enriched by interesting activities, it is rather dull and repetitive

-16- I am very sensitive to the opinions of others about me and just tell me how to

-17- I want everything, but fails to nothing

-18- When they ask me how I'm doing, I say something: "It's business as usual," or "I can not complain," or "Nothing special"

-19- I think of myself that I was not great and the wise do good though the results are not bepald that I do it well

-20- I often do not mean what I say and do not say what I mean…

-21- I expect another makes me happy and fulfilling my wishes but that does not happen

-22- I do what Ingeborg Bosch 'False hope' calls emanating from the as…than-formula, te weten: "Once I have that partner / job / etc then I will be happy", so no…

-23- I hang the dirty laundry not out even though I know that Americans say : "We are as sick as we are secret" and also that forego expression leads to depression.

-24- When I go shopping to do I feel screwed and screwed in place of the blessed that I can and should do

-25- You might also remember to think of something yourself, My list is not complete

The more often you can say yes to the above statements, the more blockages you have and the more negative impressions you have inner child and the more you have to let go.

I wrote articles about letting go, Here some highlights from those articles

I invited Cornelie me home. She is a charming woman in 80 with something about themselves jeugdigs. I asked her what were her most important life lessons she replied: "Let go and forgive" At that moment I saw a book on my table about letting go and a book about forgiveness, talked about synchronicity!

Inspired by Cornelie I went to buy more books about letting go. A must I think 'The secret of letting go' of Guy Finley fantastic book I 125 notes could make out. He writes, among others: "Releasing yourself(ego) is letting go of your problems, they are the same, "and" release follows the realization that sticking does not make sense more ". He also writes that all you want to control that controls you and that the war is in your.

The more you let go of how receptive you are for the blessings of the universe, de kosmos, van God

In Africa, they catch monkeys by making a hole in a tree in front of the curious monkeys and put some goodies in. If people leave, the boldest monkey to the tree and puts his hand into the hole, however, treats address as his hand became a fist, he would not refuse from the hole and the monkey to the goodies let even if people come to get him loose, he keeps himself caught. I think that's a wonderful story how you imprison yourself by not letting go.

A friar of the abbey The Slangenburg in Doetinchem said it very nicely. Hij zei: "Look Henny people do this" and he clenched his fists. "They stick to what they know and, but if you can not catch you, he should do "and then made this his hands a bowl. It was a lesson for me. I realized that I had a tendency to old, known to hold and that so there is no room for the new, unknown to serve themselves to. Paul van den Berg said: ;Why should we fear the unknown, only known you can frighten '

A child that was removed was mistreated by her mother by the child to surprise the child reached out to the mioeder and shouted that it wanted to stay with her so children can attach an old familiar and the like African apes…and thus also trapped…

It may also be that the inner child acting as a pseudo adult because parents fail, here a strip with humor follows:

child psychiatrist

Insult and ego

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If you feel easily offended are you sure that your ego is still the boss, because your true self can not be offended because it is complete, nothing human is alien to him also not negative.

If someone would call me an asshole I say thank you and that I can indeed sometimes just sometimes a jerk, but are usually friendly.

The ego has created an idealized self-image that must be defended at all costs and must be maintained, that illusion rather than reality says the ego malchines illusion called reality.

Freud said very nice: "We are better than we know, but worse than we think '

Ask yourself but what is the worst that they can say to you and give it a place in your being, then you control that aspect instead of it controlling you. What we niert aware of dominated us Freud saw good.

offended

As long as you're offending you let your thoughts and especially feelings determine the other and you are not free but a victim. The master can laugh at an insult and let there not upset his thoughts and feelings..

The Buddha was once insulted and a student asked why the Buddha was not hurt. The Buddha said,: "It's like a gift that is offered when the offender still does not accept it in his hand '

Emotions are judgments. If I do not believe I am offended, I can not be angry – Robert Solomon

insult

A man asked a wise: ‘Wat is egotisme?’

The sage said: "What a fool you are glad you asked!’

Insulted the man became very angry at the way,

the manner in which said: "It is now egotism!’

If you are offended by a remark that's probably because it is a truth which you do not want to, there is a side of you is triggered you have repressed and now project into the other. Usually that your shadow side, Negative part. Lao Tse said that true words are not nice. The Bible says the truth will set you free, I might add that the truth will make you mad first. Nietzsche zei: ‘Hoeveel waarheid kan een mens verdragen, how much truth he ventures?!!’

Name a common man mean and he will soon prove you right, call a realized human being mean and he will smile and not be offended or hurt, saying that he can indeed sometimes be mean masr that is usually not.

Eem woman once called dumb blonde and she went there to in order to prove the opposite, reinforcing only the observation of the other. I told her of mental judo, move with the push of another, so do not push back but draw, with mental judo is that exaggerate the offense and in the case of the dumb blonde say that she is much worse much more stupid and do nothing, the cathedral is to dance for the devil and do not even understand this remark of the offender.

A woman whom I had taught the spiritual judo applied it she had a collision and then said,: "I'm Godzilla himself, a monster, devils "and she told me that no one has ever been as silent as her opponent.

A samurai asked a manner that the heavens and what the hell is

The way the samurai insulted by calling him a fool and idiot

to cut off the head of the way the samurai drew his sword and was ready. "So this is hell," said the wise. The samurai saw that made his sword and asked the sage if he would teach him. "And that's heaven," said the wise.