Care or control?

Care or control? I once had a consultation with a middle-aged couple. The couple started to argue in front of me. The man - clearly upset - turned to me and said: See what is happening? I care about her so much and this is what I get in return. ” To which his wife […]

Shadow work

Shadow work We get to know things through their opposite. So if we want to know the light we have to look to the dark for the shadow. Karin Bloemen said: "I only knew what light was, when it was turned off by you ". Jung zei: "We are not illuminated by proposing our light statures, but by […]

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

DGT Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Dialectics is the thesis antithesis and synthesis. It is the golden mean of the Buddha. The loving reconciliation of the opposites. 24 hours is the synthesis of day and night. Our dark side is also important. Jung said we are not enlightened by imagining luminaries, but by […]

Intradependentie

Intradependence Intradependence, is your dependence of your subpersonalities on parts of yourself, who want to play boss. You are then not congruent, maar verdeeld. The sub-personalities compete with each other. Shakespeare gods: ‘Ik speel in mijn leven vele rollen, maar geen enkele raakt de kern’. The sub-personalities are, as it were, orchestral members without leadership. They play […]

Wanting you right and wanting results

Many people would rather be right than happiness. When you talk to them, they prefer to be confirmed, they are so insecure of themselves! They allow themselves to be controlled by their urge for confirmation! A friend joked about that and said: "You can say anything to me, but with flattery you come […]

THINK

THINK is the acronym of is it: True-Helpful-Interesting-Necessary-Kind Before you say anything, then think of this! And listen more often, without pulling a questionable face and without objections and yes-buts Everyone wants to be heard, but almost no one wants to listen! For real listening, you are in the here and now without thoughts.